727) "Did you see me yesterday? I looked so smart! I got new glasses!"
"...I was here yesterday."
"Oh, that's right! Not so smart today, am I?"
728) "No, we still haven't solutionized that yet."
(What, precisely, does that involve?)
729) "One of those headless raptors bit me!"
("Right now, people are ignoring the laws of physics.")
730) "Flan is a dessert, not a towering blob of evil!"
(Says you.)
731) (during a board game) "What's the worst kind of criminal there is?"
(reading off answers) "Child molesters ... serial child molesters ... So one of us thinks it's okay to molest a child once?"
732) "Why does the stupid thing always have to come out of my mouth?"
(So this list may have life.)
733) "Even if you didn't mind the ages or the fact that they're brothers, what about a suit of armor says 'sexy' to you?"
(Umm ... shiny?)
734) "What? I'm not making love to a corpse? Where am I?"
(... There's just really nothing I can say to that.)
735) "You talked to her?"
"Yeah, although she was in the form of an undead priest at the time"
(That's ME!)
736) "At that point you could reach, but you wouldn't know what to do with it!"
(Yes. Yes, it is wrong.)
737) "Is this a practical application of our earlier discussion?"
(All) "WHAT?!"
"Not that discussion!"
(What can I say? Our minds are in the gutter.)
738) "Death by porn?"
"That's not a withering death - more of a sticky, gross death."
739)"I'm going to kill her."
"Well, she's passive aggressive."
"If she doesn't shape up soon, I'm going to be aggressive and she's going to wind up passive!"
740) "It's a plow operated by ninjas."
(I ... see.)
741) "So, apparently, I can recognize my own porn."
(Well, I would hope so!)
742) "I have no idea what's going on here."
"Well, at the moment ... porn."
(This is just a smutty update.)
743) "It's all about showing your - GET OUT OF THE POISONED WATER! - love as a daughter."
744) "Today has been a very blarfish weekend. ...And that wouldn't have made sense even if blarfish was a word."
745) "It was $100 for 25 DVDs, so that's $4/DVD, right?"
"Only if you're using math."
(Instead of interpretive dance.)
746) "Just wait until he's 18; you'll be perving along with everyone else."
"Yeah, but I'll feel bad about it."
747) "Now see, you wouldn't see genitalia on American money."
748) "Do you want to send out a group e-mail, or shall I?"
"If I do it I'll either forget, do it wrong, or accidentally attach porn to it. So you go ahead."
749) And now, an IM conversation:
Person A: Ughhhh.....*seeks brains*
Person B: O_o *hug?*
Person A: Someone is groaning and seeking brains and you hug him? Isn't that a good way to end up with someone gnawing on your skull? Not that I don't appreciate the sentiment of course. Just saying. *gnaws on your skull*
750) "I thought you'd be pleased to know I don't drool on your seal."
751) "Did you injure yourself on a box of Triscuits?"
"Yes."
752) "He's bleeding! What were they going to say?! 'Sorry, things got a little rough during our wild man sex?'"
(Would you believe this was regarding an episode of 24? Well, believe it!)
753) "What the hell?! Why am I being beaten by buns?!"
