401) "Okay, uhm, if you can make your brain do that funky dance."
402) "I got confused, trying to remember which guy to do when."
(Contra dancing can be complicated. ^_^;)
403) "Obviously, I need to stop assuming that these people have brains."
(A common mistake.)
404) "Would you be willing to help me get the place ready for the New Year's Eve party?"
"Sure. When is that gonna be anyway?"
". . ."
405) "What's wrong?"
"I'm fixing the toilet, and Mr. and Mrs. Investigation just HAVE to come see what's going on."
(Disadvantages of having cats.)
406) "Can you stop with religion already? It's making it hard for us to fuck."
407) "Hey! I'm the one mating with the car door over here!"
(That would produce interesting children.)
408) "His libido sounds like Sean Connery."
(Doesn't every man's?)
409) "Hmm, that doesn't work."
"I wanna see!"
"No you don't."
"Yeah I do! ... Ooh, you're right, that doesn't work!"
'Told you."
410) "You'd be icky too if someone stuck their tongue in you all day long."
(I think it's my civic duty to inform everyone that this quote was about a cat's drinking bowl. There. I feel better now.)
411) "Do I look like the kind of person who would decorate this place with wacky vinegar bottles?"
(You know, I'm not sure what that kind of person WOULD look like.)
412) "Do not write porn on our fridge!"
(Adventures in magnetic poetry.)
413) "Blah, I don't want to pay the bills."
"But you lose things like heat and the apartment when you don't. Your friends need all that stuff to mooch off you."
(That's what friends are for. ^_^)
414) "Chocolate makes everything better. Except diabetes."
415) "We still have a potato carcass to maul."
(Sounds like an interesting project.)
416) "Oh my God, speaking of deviant sexual acts..."
(Do we really want to know what would come after that?)
417) "Oh, I'd have lied my ass off. In fact, my ass would still be at home lying to him, while I was here."
418) "I can't write porn while I eat muffins."
419) "She'd suck the life out of ... death!"
(That statement didn't quite have the impact it was supposed to.)
420) "I know the temptation to bowl with the hamster is very great, but please refrain."
421) "It's not like land mammal meat stuff!"
"But it's all slimy!"
(We were talking about sushi.)
422) "I'm stopping to make sense now."
(....tired?)
423) "So, I moved the chair, and the chair hit the other thing, and the other thing caused the stabby fruit of death."
(Why do we have so many things that end in "of death" or "of doom"?)
424) "He's not just an actor; he's a certifiably insane lunatic!"
(Who were we talking about? Our beloved, sexy Viggo Mortensen. ^_^;;)
425) "I don't know if people have a butt bone, but yours was right on the muscle, and it hurt."
(More creative anatomy.)
426) "We were waiting for the opportune moment to tell you. And we missed it."
(We are teh suck.)
427) "It's sensual in a psychotic way."
428) "These potatoes are cursed."
429) "It ain't over 'til the fat lady sings, and she ain't even humming yet."
430) "Cup or cone?"
"Yup."
(Blast from the past!)
431) "I chose which color bell pepper to get based on color."
432) "Is the avacado defeating you again?"
"Yeah."
(Well. They're evil.)
433) "What are you doing? Besides standing on my boob."
(Ah, the joy of cats.)
434) "You suck! You suck! You ... toothpaste ..."
435) "I made the improper assumption."
(Contra dancing leads to so many interesting phrases.)
436) "It's not my fault that the minute he heard I was single, he was on top of me!"
437) "Sexy men or not, I'm starving!"
(Some things just take precedence.)
438) "I don't have an attention span, I just ... oh, look at that!"
439) "I should get going."
"But ... thingie!"
"That's a persuasive argument."
440) "Yes, Tomamasa, you're a fecking idiot, and you need to keep it in your kimono."
441) "Happiness is supported breasts."
(I think guys and girls probably agree with that one.)
442) "Do you feel like a new you?"
"Oh, yeah, definitely. I feel ... trendy. I think my butt just shrank."
443) "It's not like I've got sex toys stashed in a drawer."
"No, they're hanging on the wall."
(Sometimes, you can just see a perfect one coming. ^_^)
444) "She'd have the skit shared out of her."
(We're all nucking futs.)
445) "Apparently, my wry amusement is not being properly conveyed. Next time I'll use emoticons."
446) "That's because I'm right!"
"No, it's because you're loud and fast."
"That works, too!"
447) "Yeah, I had a caffeine headache. So, I took a No-Doz and went to sleep."
(Riiiight.)
448) "Go squeeze my duck!"
(I'll ... get right on that.)
449) "Stop going snap crackle pop! You're Canadian bacon, not cereal!"
(Microwaves can be evil.)
450) "It's firmly set in jello."