451) "Guys don't play with these things."
"That's because if guys were playing with it, they'd just play with the girls and keep taking off the clothes."
452) "If that's all set, then you can ... FUCK ME!"
(*snickers* Oops.)
453) "I'd like a chicken cannoli."
(The girl behind the counter just kind of blinked.)
454) "Bob the air conditioner!"
(There was this ad in a telephone book, and that's kind of what it said ... thingie.)
455) "I'd give you a hug if you'd just stop changing shapes."
(Sleep is your friend. Crack is not.)
456) "Well, yes you can hug with nuclear arms. It just won't be as cuddly."
457) "When you go out in that dress...take it off."
(When interjections go wrong.)
458) "Now, be nice....or at least, stop being evil for a moment."
("You see, the problem is that you're a bad person.")
459) "You mixed up Denethor and Faramir?"
"Shut up. Don't make me poke you with my stabby fork."
(Again, sleep is your friend.)
460) "Um, I can't get your cable to work."
"You did try turning on the cable box, right?"
"Ah, there we go!"
461) "Could you guys please not have a fight on my lap?"
(Kitty-wrestling!)
462) "I don't think of bothering [someone] as a bad thing, just as a...thing."
463) "Oh, and I also need to ... have a complete brain cramp."
(Isn't that on everyone's to-do list?)
464) "Death! Yay!"
(We're such a cheerful bunch...)
465) "It's so warm out, I can't believe it snew today."
(Oh, this is the NEW grammar I've heard so much about.)
466) "Take something for it. Take un-headachy things."
(In fact, write it just like that on the prescription.)
467) "I take back whatever the hell it was I just said."
468) "Why is he your god?"
"Because I've modeled my life after his teachings."
"What has he taught you?"
"Jump up and down with a string attached to my head, mostly."
(All hail the mighty Boongah!)
469) "Cartoon characters naked just aren't as good."
470) "Stop it, your stupid is contagious."
471) "I thought the plural of proof is ... I don't know."
472) "So that's why he comes over here."
"Yeah, he gets wrestled to the floor by two women every night."
473) "The problem with brain surgery is that you can't hit the save button and come back later."
(Aw, why not?)
474) "I'm tired, what's your excuse for finding this funny? Oh, that's right - it's not your pain and suffering."
475) "I wanna know what the hot dog symbolizes."
"... Inner peace and tranquility."
476) "I can't leave Jason turned on all night, he gets too hot."
(How on earth did we leave *that* out?! Anyway, another laptop comment.)
477) "I don't care if I'm being splattered with metaphysical mashed potatoes."
478) "I still say it's part six and final of the dick fight."
(Watching anime and yelling at the characters.)
479)"Ok, now how about doing something useful, like saving that guy's ass?"
"...For himself?"
480) "Can someone tie me up?"
481) "I can't believe you're calling it a dick fight! They're not fighting to prove whose equipment is bigger, they're fighting because they're two testosterone-laden idiots who are trying to prove that...um..."
"See? It's a dick fight!"
"...Okay, but it's not a conscious thing!"
(*giggles*)
482) "Come over here so I can do things to you."
483) "Getting into position for this is so bad..."
484) "I have props; that makes it easier."
(o.O;;;)
485) "Hey, you, what are you -- no, get away! That's my...argh! She's trying to eat my leg!"
(Yes, this was the cat.)
486) "Ugh, did anyone get the license plate numbers of the bus that hit us?"
"Yeah, I think it was something like, 'you drank too much, you fucking morons.'"
(*laughs* Again, I can't believe we forgot this!)
487) "My life would be a lot more interesting if I had a knack for beguiling innocent young men."
488) "She's suffering from a horrible bout of flying lust."
(Oooh, that sounds bad. I think.)
489) "I came here to hang out with my friends at an anime convention - not to kiss boys."
(Well, to each his or her own. ^_^)
490) "I always tell people, I never start anything. It's always the trees."
(Of course!)
491) "You will perish in the flames of hell."
"I thought the flames of hell were for after I perish."
"Normally, yes, but you're special."
492) "All you have to do is catch it."
"I'm trying, but it keeps moving in three dimensions."
(How dare it?)
493) "I think I'll make that my next battle cry: Damn you, wheelie chair!"
494) "Movie. Time. See when?"
(Caveman English.)
495) "So far, he has our royal approval."
(The world would have much to fear if we were royalty.)
496) "Since you're female, I can rest assured you're not scratching yourself."
(Gee. Thanks. I think.)
497) "I have all sorts of fun toys I can cheer you up with."
(*dies laughing*)
498) "I'm doing two at once. Doesn't that excite you?"
(Ugh.)
499) "Bubbles never killed anyone. Unless they're in your blood. Then they're evil."
(Well ... it's true!)
500) "We need to be zapped by the Care Bears and their fascistness."
(For more information, click here.)