501) "I'm going to win! I'm losing my shorts!"
502) "How are you staying up there?"
"Determination! And losing my pants!"
(Blast from the past! Well, 501 made me remember it. Hee.)
503) "Stay away from my ass. It's valuable. It produces ideas."
504) "Can we both just declare ourselves mentally incompetent and get on with our lives?"
505) "When I like something, I tend to like it hard."
506) "Pokey with the pokey thingie of pokiness."
("WTF, mates?")
507) "I was thinking more along the lines of drug-addled crack whores."
(Are you often drawn to those lines of thought?)
508) "If you're crazy and you know it, lick your enemy."
(Well, it does happen quite a lot.)
509) "Come, feel my evil."
(Mmmm ... fuzzy.)
510) "I'd bother her, but it would involve groping you."
511) "So where does 'butterknife' stand on the rock paper scissors hierarchy?"
512) "If this keeps up, we're all gonna be naked."
(Woo hoo!)
513) "So, guess what they found at the dentist."
"You still have teeth?"
"Yes, in fact, they did find that."
514) "I wouldn't be me if I didn't come up with a snappy ... word ... thing."
(Brilliant!)
515) "I think you need a hardcore drug addiction and some kinky sexual fetishes, too. How about being a furry dominatrix?"
(*dies*)
516) "Whatever it was I said, it was kinky."
(I'm sure.)
517) "I'm hearty! And robust. Like a soup!"
518) "I'd like to claim innocence in all this, but I instigated it."
(That would make it difficult then.)
519)"How are you?"
"Eh. Lots of zombies to kill."
520) "It's making my fangirl bits tingle."
(That breaks my brain.)
521) "How are dancing and zoos related?"
"People dance at zoos."
522) "Your dad is playing my dad."
(I suppose it wouldn't help if I mentioned that they were playing doctor, would it?)
523) "What's this say? DTD dling? Oh! Filing!"
(It's a new word! Dling!)
524)"We probably shouldn't reward him for molesting the Bible, but whatever works!"
(More adventures in owning cats.)
525) "Maybe in an attempt to save our sanity ..."
"We should beat ourselves to death?"
(There are days ...)
526) "Sure, I could be a diabetic educator. 'Glue your refrigerator shut!'"
(Or as my hippie professor was fond of saying, "Put down the fork, America!")
527) "Maybe you're pregnant."
"God, I hope not. What would I tell my wife?"
528) "Hi! What's up? I'm wearing your pants."
529) "What? Do you suck off a lot of celery?"
(.... ew.)
530) "Okay, the patient will call to ... to get this monkey off my back."
(Wow. That patient has mad phone skillz.)
531) "There was nothing sexual about that. They just wanted to go play with their sticks and balls."
532) "Wow. My foot is almost the same color as your wall."
(Umm ... congrats?)
533) "Ha! In defiance, I'll eat your cheese!"
(Anything but that!!)
534) "So, what happens at the end of volume 2?"
"Fan service."
535) "It's like, 'Eureka! Oh, bloody hell.'"
536) "Stomping on your allies is generally considered bad form."
(Awww ... rats.)
537) "I'm trying to talk, and you flash that in my face. What am I supposed to do?"
(It was a really yummy picture of Orlando Bloom, okay? I lost the ability to speak English.)
538) "I just can't get a song stuck in my head that doesn't have notes."
"...You mean words?"
"Fuck you all."
539) "I'm not disagreeing. I'm just mocking you."
540) "He said my nose is purple."
(Umm ... that sounds bad.)
541) "HEY! Move that piece of shit, so I can move THIS piece of shit!"
(Road rage at its finest.)
542) "In related news, my father celebrated getting a raise by dropping a wrench on his face."
(What does he do on birthdays and anniversaries?)
543) "Our conversations are so intelligent: 'squish' 'squish' 'bother' 'bother' 'rrrrrrr.'"
544) "I am the opposite of trouble."
"And what's that?"
"I don't know."
545) "The last name is Waitaminute?"
546) "I just threw your pancreas away."
(That's just mean.)
547) "I'm normally-challenged."
(As so many of us are.)
548) "Great. I've got cat hair in my cleavage."
549) "Next time I'll leave a note: At parents'. Please wear clothes."
(You really don't want to know.)
550) "I don't trust the vacuum near my head."
(Umm ... right.)